SEXUALITY
We are taught to be what the society tells us is best for us, but hardly do we live our dreams and realize our goals and inner aspirations
Having survived rape(by men) I found one simple truth. It matters little what and how you climax as a male (or female) and less what others think of how others think of your methods, conventional or otherwise. A climax is just that! If it makes your legs shake, your moan louder and your panting on point, GO FOR IT!!
We think men to be largely and exclusively heterosexual allowing ladies to express ‘moments of weakness’ by having some girl-girl action. Heck! Men (straight)fantasize and watch lesbian porn, but the minute they see one lady hitting on another, the rage and hysteria is indescribable. They think it an opportunity that they, in their ignorance, have lost. A chance to recite their baseless cliches on unwilling women, and for their gain; few women achieve an orgasm in heterosexual encounters.
But wait
What is the purpose of sex?
What is foreplay?
Whose bodies are involved?
For far too long, we have let the sad and uneventful lives of others dictate how we run our affairs. Should your heart fall in love with a certain person,and are sure of their standing, why should the opinions of another overrun you? How much of your thoughts are implemented in their lived for them to feel the urge to reciprocate? Were you all up in their faces when they were “sinning” during World War 2 and blaming it on their teenage years?
I opine that you should be Lord over your body. The Supreme Authority over how it functions and what it prefers.
Recent conversations with fellow youth led me to realize that ladies who identified as straight, yet had an encounter withe a fellow lady, were largely dissatisfied with poor lip and tongue service from their phallus-carrying mates and secretly longed for a re-run with a fellow woman.
How will I, a phallus carrying male, explain to some naive lady that a man was the first to make me climax(involuntarily)? How would she take it when I point out that my body has never forgotten the feeling and that I struggle every day to silence he echoes of my past from making me tip over my apartment’s balcony for fear of shame?
Shall I lurk in the dysfunction that is now my norm? Tender down and dare the voices in my head to lead me to the vice that was my first experience? What is Sin? Am I to force my phallus into some random lady for need or self-assurance that all is well and prove to an inexistent crowd that I am still functional, achieving little or no climax?
I chose to let my body wait, taken by the pain of days past and walled in by fear of the unknown. I have to walk the thin line of relative morality, catcalls and jibes my norm, for I have lost all and have nothing more to lose. I seek solace in the bottle, my noose and pills when books and faces fail me.
Am I gay? Bisexual maybe? Partly straight?…. we will never know
